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”Aunt Helen, “Playing around where?”“Ah, with each other.”“Oh. Now I see why you sound a little anxious, Flo. But you called the right person. I believe you know that I have dealt with this issue with several families including two of the women who are in my card club. I expect you want to tell me Davy and Ann are spending time in Davy’s room with the door shut.”“Yes. Exactly – for the last two months in the evening his door has been shut with Ann in there. When I hear noise coming from the room I go upstairs to investigate but all of a sudden it becomes quiet. Of course I don’t dare to go in.”“I understand. You have a legitimate concern. If you want me to take care of the problem just say so.”“Do you think you could help, Helen? We would greatly appreciate it. You know my husband does not like to take on any responsibility with kids. And, I am too embarrassed about it - let alone know how to deal with it.”“Well, Flo, I am willing to get a practical program in place to solve this. David, do you ever get tired of protecting pigs?" I do, Peter. I have a list of names – chasers – I won't protect again, not for any amount of kosher gelt, that's legal money by the way, boychik." Put your current principal on that list, underline his name and follow it with an exclamation point or two," Peter said. "I don't have a list, but when I hang up from talking with you, I'm going to call my agent and tell him to start screening potential principals for degrees of piggishness. I'll pass on the worst of them. I don't need all the money I'm making every year. I don't spend a good chunk of it anyway. Life's too short to spend it protecting pigs."David laughed. "Piggishness, huh? No such word." Maybe not, but pig and piggish are. Gotta run, David. Promise me that you won't take a bullet for a chaser – ever." Made that promise to myself years ago, Peter. I'm not a complete putz. Degrees of piggishness, huh? Not a bad way of looking at it. Maybe I'll instruct my agent.
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